


Reflection of Your Mind

by reynxx



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Delusions, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, my love my life ABBA based, sleeping disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 11:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16701868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reynxx/pseuds/reynxx
Summary: Images passing by like reflection of his mind.Not realizing time has passed,Jeonghan thought Mingyu was still with him.





	Reflection of Your Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xuchelsy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuchelsy/gifts).



> An entry for SpookySVT2018,
> 
> with the prompt "Where Jeonghan thought Mingyu was still with him."

 

“Hyung, wake up.”

A loud groan came from under the white fur blanket followed by a series of ‘ _no_ ’s and ‘ _I don’t want to_ ’. The person under the blanket shifted into a more comfortable position, not bothering to wake up anytime soon. It was none other than Yoon Jeonghan who worships sleeping more than any activity in his life and waking him up is always a big pain in the ass, no exception for his boyfriend, Kim Mingyu, who he had been living with for 5 years. A loud ring then came from a phone on the bedside table; it was Jeonghan’s 8 am alarm.

“Jeonghan hyung please wake up and turn off your alarm…”

Jeonghan felt a hand creeping under his back and another hand slithering over his stomach. In the next second he was pulled towards his boyfriend with his back now pressed on Mingyu’s exposed front. His boyfriend started to kiss his nape, licking it slightly before nibbling the soft skin, sending shivers down the older man’s spine.

“Baby, wake up or you’ll be late for work again,” Mingyu murmured, lips still pressed on Jeonghan’s nape, “I’ll make your favorite breakfast if you wake up right now.”

Jeonghan stretched as he freed himself from his boyfriend’s embrace, “Alright alright…” He sat up with eyes still closed and reached for his phone, turning off his alarm. He turned towards his lover, who was looking back at him with a sleepy face, and gave him a peck, “Good morning.”

Mingyu licked his lips in delight, “Good morning to you too, my love.”

Jeonghan got up and hit the showers leaving a sleeping Mingyu at their bed. When he was done, he got dressed and walked to their dining table, only to find nothing was served on top of it.

Jeonghan sighed, “You know you don’t always have to say you’ll cook just to wake me up,” He half shouted, calling out his boyfriend, but no one responded. Mingyu probably was still in dreamland. Jeonghan sighed as he grabbed a cold sandwich from the fridge and heat it up in the microwave.

“And here I am eating a convenient store sandwich everyday just because of you and your lazy ass,” Jeonghan took a bite after he was done heating the sandwich up, “I miss your cooking, you know.” He murmured. Jeonghan couldn’t remember the last time he ate his boyfriend’s cooking, but he doesn’t want to bitch about it, he knows that both of them has tight schedule.

Jeonghan finished his breakfast and grabbed his coat and headed towards their apartment door, opening it slightly before looking back, “I’m going now.” He shouted a bit louder only to be greeted by the cold winter wind. Jeonghan shivered at the cold contact, he quickly put on his coat.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan cursed under his visible white breath. _Winter_. Jeonghan’s least favorite season. It was white, colorless, and cold. Not to mention the fact that plants wither and die at winter, he would have to do something about his small garden at their balcony soon.

Winter was Jeonghan’s least favorite season for many reasons.

Everything dies at winter.

Winter took _everything_ from Jeonghan.

* * *

 

It was 10 pm when Jeonghan got out of work. He went straight home, fighting through the cold weather with some hot packs on his pockets. He thought about the things he would have after he arrives at home, some hot tea, hot baths, and of course his hot boyfriend.

When he does arrive, he was greeted with Mingyu’s hug as soon as he stepped inside, “Welcome home.” Mingyu rested his chin on top of Jeonghan’s head.

Jeonghan snuggled into Mingyu’s hug as he slither his hands around the taller boy, tightening their hug, “Mmhm, I’m home.” He purred.

“How was your day?” Mingyu asked as Jeonghan let go of the hug to brew some tea at their kitchen.

Jeonghan took out some chamomile tea from the cabinet, “It was so-so, nothing good happened, how was yours?” He filled his cup with hot water and dipped the chamomile tea bag inside. The water slowly turned into a brownish color as the smell of chamomile filled Jeonghan’s lungs.

Mingyu smiled wide as he approached Jeonghan once again, “It was not bad, but I miss you so much though.” He trapped the smaller boy between him and the kitchen counter and kissed Jeonghan on the lips, slowly at first before building it up into something more intense.

Jeonghan smiled into the kiss, “Not as much as I miss _you_.” He laughed bitterly.

Mingyu bit Jeonghan’s lower lip before tugging it slowly, “Bed, shall we?”

* * *

 

One of many reasons why Jeonghan loathed the snowy season was because his sleep apnea always gets worse in cold weathers. It was his tenth time waking up because of it in the past one hour, chest heaved as he desperately gasped for oxygen.

This wasn’t something new. Jeonghan had sleep apnea since years ago, back when he was in high school. He tried different things, humidifier, herbal tea, and all the things his doctors suggested, but none of it helps, except for one thing, one person, and it was none other than Kim Mingyu.

Ever since Jeonghan met Mingyu, he realized that his sleeping problem gradually disappeared. Mingyu would hold him close every night when it occurred, patting Jeonghan’s back in a steady rhythm, whispering sweet calming words, and giving light kisses on top of Jeonghan’s head. Mingyu did that every single time and miraculously, Jeonghan had less sleepless night ever since.

Jeonghan thought that his sleeping disorder was finally cured after all the years he slept with Mingyu. But his hope shattered ever since two years ago. Jeonghan’s sleep apnea got worse especially when winter strikes. It got worse than ever. Jeonghan would cry and scream as his breath hitched on every sob.

Today was nothing different. Sweat dampened Jeonghan’s pajamas as his fingers curled, grasping the sheets in search for something, _someone_ , to hold on. Tears started to flow from Jeonghan’s eye down to his chin as he sobs.

“Hyung,” Mingyu’s voice caught his attention, “Come here…”

Jeonghan hand stretched further until he could feel his lover on the other side of the bed, arms already open anticipating his hug. He pressed his body closer to his lover, fingers clutching Mingyu’s back.

“Baby it’s okay, you’re okay, breathe slowly…” Mingyu whispered sweet words to Jeonghan’s ear like a melody on repeat every night. It was gentle, calming, and sweet, “I’m here, my love.”

Jeonghan calmed a bit as he started to breath in a steady rhythm. He hugged Mingyu tightly, head resting at the crook of Mingyu’s neck.

“You’ll stay forever right?”

“Forever.”

Jeonghan’s sleep apnea still gets worse every night.

* * *

 

“Jeonghan, are you free this Saturday?”

Jeonghan’s eye shot open, a sharp pain hit the back of his head. He saw Seungcheol and Jisoo, his and Mingyu’s high school friends, sitting in front of him. He quickly recognized his surroundings; they were at the coffee shop beside Jeonghan’s workplace. Oh right, Seungcheol called this morning to meet him after work. Did he just fell asleep in the middle of a conversation?

“Jeonghan…” Jisoo’s face showed concern before eyeing Seungcheol, “You look tired…”

 Jeonghan laughed bitterly as he rubbed his eyes, “Do I?”

“How are you holding?” Seungcheol asked as he scooted closer to Jeonghan.

“Oh you mean the weather?” Jeonghan smiled, “I’m okay, Mingyu still holds me close when my apnea strikes.”

Seungcheol and Jisoo exchanged looks before Seungcheol cleared his throat, “Listen Jeonghan… the reason we called you is…”

Jeonghan scrunched his eyebrows, face painted with confusion as he waited Seungcheol to continue, “What?”

“This Saturday it will be exactly two years after…” Jisoo continued averting his eyes from Jeonghan’s gaze, “Let’s… Let’s visit Mingyu’s…”

“Uh, you want to visit our house? Mingyu probably has work on Saturday but he’ll be home at night,”

Seungcheol and Jisoo went silent as they looked at each other. Seungcheol took a deep breath and looked at Jeonghan. “Jeonghan,” Seungcheol raised his voice, his voice was stern and Jeonghan was taken aback by the sudden action, “Please snap out of it.”

“Seungcheol… don’t,” Jisoo halted with voice low and demanding, “Let’s take this slowly…”

“No!” Seungcheol snapped at Jisoo, “Jeonghan needs to snap out of this!”

“Snap out of what?” Jeonghan looked at Seungcheol and Jisoo back and forth, face full of confusion. What are his friends talking about?

“Seungcheol please we talked about this…” Jisoo pleaded as he shook his head lightly.

“How long do you think he will keep this up?!” Seungcheol eyes glistened as his voice cracked, finger pointed at Jeonghan, “I can’t… Jisoo… it hurts too much seeing him like this!”

Jeonghan was terribly confused at his friends’ actions, “What are you guys talking about..?”

Seungcheol and Jisoo exchanged look again before gazing back at Jeonghan with eyes full with mixed emotions. Seungcheol sighed as he covered his face with his hands, “Jeonghan…”

“What is it…?”

“This Saturday—“

“I told you Mingyu’s busy—“

“Jeonghan!” Seungcheol shouted, “Mingyu isn’t here anymore! It’s been two years since he died so please stop saying as if he's here!”

There was a long silence after Seungcheol statement, both Jisoo and Seungcheol didn’t dare to look at Jeonghan.

“What are you talking about, Cheol…? Mingyu’s at home…” but Seungcheol remained silent so Jeonghan turned to Jisoo, “Jisoo… what’s wrong with Cheol…?”

“Hannie…” Jisoo moved closer to Jeonghan and placed his hand on top of Jeonghan’s, “Don’t you remember… Mingyu died two years ago because of a car crash…”

Jeonghan brushed off Jisoo’s hand, “Guys this isn’t funny, stop joking.”

Jisoo started crying as he cover his face with his hands, “Hannie I know we all miss him so much but it’s true… please, you can’t be like this forever…”

Jeonghan doesn’t understand. Mingyu was at home this morning, and he was also there yesterday and the day before. Mingyu was _always_ there. Whatever Jisoo and Seungcheol were pulling at him was a sick joke.

Jeonghan stood up voice fueled with anger, “I don’t understand what you’re talking about. I’m going home.”

Seungcheol also stood up as he grabbed Jeonghan’s hand, “Please Jeonghan…”

“No!” Jeonghan broke free of Seungcheol’s grip, “You’re all wrong! Mingyu’s at home right now and that’s where I’m going!”

Jeonghan quickly ran home with his heart feeling unsteady. Mingyu didn’t die, Mingyu was always there. His stomach swelled at the thought. That was just a sick joke. He will prove it to Jisoo and Seungcheol. Mingyu is alive, breathing. Mingyu is at their home, probably watching some drama, he’s there, always been there, forever will be there. Jeonghan’s heart rate quickens as he reached their apartment, fingers quickly fiddling with their front door key before turning the knob and opening it.

“I’m home!” Jeonghan shouted, quickly opening his shoes and rushed in, placing his belongings on the kitchen table, “Mingyu? Where are you?”

There was no answer. Jeonghan ran to their bedroom with heart beating fast and throat dry. When he opened the bedroom door, Jeonghan sighed in relief, Mingyu was there, watching television from their bed.

“Oh you’re back,” Mingyu stood up as he approached Jeonghan. When he noticed that Jeonghan was panting, Mingyu’s eyebrows scrunched, “What’s wrong?”

Jeonghan quickly hugged his lover tightly, “You’re here…”

Jeonghan felt Mingyu’s hands around him, hugging him back, “Welcome home.”

Jeonghan buried his face on Mingyu’s broad chest. Mingyu’s here, in his arms, “You’re here.” he repeated the same words over and over again.

“I’m here,” Mingyu’s hand cupped Jeonghan’s face as he leaned closer before placing a kiss on Jeonghan’s lips.

Just then a loud ring came from Jeonghan’s phone at the kitchen. Jeonghan let go of the hug and walked towards the source, followed by Mingyu behind him. He picked up his phone to see who was calling. Jeonghan’s eyebrows flew up in confusion, _Mingyu’s Mom_ was written on the caller ID. Jeonghan quickly picked up.

“Hello… Mrs. Kim?” he greeted politely as Mingyu’s hand slither around his waist, hugging him from behind.

“ _Jeonghan sweetie, how are you?”_

“Ah I’m fine, how are you?” Jeonghan asked back.

“ _We’re all fine sweetie… it’s been so long, we all miss you here,”_

Jeonghan tries to remember the last time he talked to Mingyu’s family. He couldn’t remember properly but he replied, “Yes, it has been so long…”

“ _Choi Seungcheol called this morning…”_ there was a long pause and Jeonghan waited, “ _Jeonghan sweetie… it’s been two years since our son left us…”_

Jeonghan swallowed hard, he turned towards Mingyu who was still hugging him, “Mrs. Kim, Mingyu is here…”

“ _Sweetie, I know it’s hard… his car crash was no one’s fault… I know he left us so early but he’s still in our heart, forever…”_ Jeonghan could hear a sob on the end of the line.

Jeonghan shook his head as his body trembled. Mingyu is right in front of him. Mingyu is here. Mingyu is here. Mingyu is—

Mingyu _was_ here.

_Not realizing that time has passed._

Tears start to flow down Jeonghan’s face as he sobbed, “I could still see him so clearly…” Jeonghan brought his free hand to cup _Mingyu’s_ face.

_A reflection of his mind, like an image passing by through the mirror of his eyes._

_Mingyu_ leaned into his touch. A smile painted across his face.

“ _I know you miss him, we all do, sweetie… as his mother, I wanted to thank you… our son is lucky to have you, who loved him so dearly… he treasured you so so much, sweetie, I remembered clearly how he always talked about you… you’re his love…”_

Jeonghan couldn’t hold his sobs. He looked at _Mingyu_ as the man in front of him moved his lips, mouthing a word that Jeonghan undeniably knows, a word that plays in his head like a melody that ever so calming, a precious word that he could clearly hear Mingyu saying it,

‘ _My love_.’

 Jeonghan broke down crying hard at the words,

“And he’s my life.”

_Let my eyes reflect the sight of you again, please._

**Author's Note:**

> oh god what did I write? :(
> 
> Hello! Thank you for reading! It's my first GyuHan fic with such an angsty prompt, i'm sorry if this doesn't represent the prompt much, but i hope you all liked it!
> 
> I left some details open so you guys could fill in with your own imaginations and interpretations of what's happening and their background ;))
> 
> Please do tell me what you think by commenting or hit me up on twitter!


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